Share

Your 5 Jokes for July 04, 2014: High School Jokes

Geometry Class

A high-school geometry teacher, started one lesson on triangles by reading a theorem.

"If an angle is an exterior angle of a triangle, then its measure is greater than the measure of either of its corresponding remote interior angles."

He noticed that one student wasn't taking notes and asked him why.

"Well," he replied sincerely, "I'm waiting until you start speaking English."

Your 5 Jokes for July 03, 2014: Schoolgirl Jokes

Cow And Grass

The teacher told the kids to draw a grassy meadow and a cow eating the grass. By the end of the hour, all the kids had some more or less artistic rendering of that topic, except for Judy. Judy had a blank page. So the teacher asked, "Where is your grass?"
Judy answered: "The cow ate it all."

Then the teacher asked: "Where is the cow?"

Judy answered: "When there was no grass left, the cow walked away."

Your 5 Jokes for July 02, 2014: Medical Student Jokes

Observation

A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. "You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear."

At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into a large open wound in the dead dog's stomach, and then licks it.

He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpse in front of them. After a couple of minutes silence, they follow suit.

"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's anus, but I licked my index.

Your 5 Jokes for June 30, 2014: Airliner Jokes

Computerized

The world`s first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.

The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a voice intoned. "Welcome to the debut of the world`s first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong. .. Nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong...."

Your 5 Jokes for June 26, 2014: First Aid Jokes

Call A Doctor

When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. "Step aside, lady," he barked. "I've taken a course in first aid." The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. "Pardon me," she said. "But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm right here."

Your 5 Jokes for June 25, 2014: Pick-Up Truck Jokes

Broken Down

An old Southern farmer with and old, beat-up pickup truck was broken down on the interstate highway. A trucker stopped to help him. The trucker got the pickup going and said to the farmer," I notice that you have a soda bottle with a daisy in it at the front and back of your pickup. Why?"
The farmer said, "State law says that if you break down on the interstate highway, you need to put a flare in the front and a flare in the back of the vehicle."