5 Cat Jokes

Cat Actors

What do cat actors say on stage ?

Tabby or not tabby !


A Proper Goldfish Burial

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."


Stuttering

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class,and the teacher says that aninteresting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no otheranimal in the world does this.Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says." Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher." Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbours' Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ggggggggg! gggggggg! ggggggggg!", and before he could say "GET LOST!", the dog ate him!"


Cat and Parrot

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?

A carrot!


A Cat’s Apology

Dear Dog,

I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which you did not break; the fish you did not spill; and the carpet that you did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with red paint...

Things here at the house are calmer now, and just to show you that I have no hard feelings towards you, I am sending you a picture, so you will always remember me.

Best regards,

The Cat


Related Collections

Animal jokes
Pet jokes
Vet jokes
Veterinarian jokes